Cliché 7
by broodjekaas
Summary: L battles with socialskills, his non-intellectual co-workers and the elevator button. What will happen when Light realises not all his employees are as devoted to him as he thinks they are? What will happen when he meets the wiggling toes? L/Light slash


Cliché 7

Chapter 1

L sighed as he pushed another box of completed paperwork away. This was such a waste of time. While he could be cramming himself with delightful muffins he was forced to fill in forms any idiot with access to google could do. Of course he didn't need any such thing, unlike all the other employees who were like muffins without someone to love them, thrashing around their desk in fear of facing the "Light", throwing their pens and papers around, looks of desperation disgracing their faces every so often. They were so hopeless. L would acknowledge their sorrow by staring at them with his pitch black eyes and transmitting positive energy. This never seemed to help though, poor inhabitants of the non intellectual world.

If only they were muffins, they would be of so much more use. Big, fluffy muffins, with vanilla icing and rainbow colored sprinkles. Oh if only they were muffins… He would love all of them, he would treasure every moment with them and fall hopelessly in love. If only Light was a muffin... He would destroy it. He would prove his power and Light's lack of it. Light's lack of justice.

There was a 00.00% chance of his employees turning into muffins. There was a 00.01% chance of Light ever noticing L. For, even though L was considered to be smart and a useful asset of the company, L was considered highly unsociable and he knew it. His "friendly" conversations weren't exactly of the "oh yay let's be friends" type, more of the "how can I confuse you into telling me what I want to know" type and apparently, if you wanted to get anything close to becoming CEO of the company you needed a dazzling fake smile and a more subtle way of doing business. You needed to make everyone believe they could be your best friend, if only they would do this and this for you. Light fulfilled all these qualities and more. You could say Light was created to be a leader. L, not surprisingly, didn't exactly approve of his methods. He could not deny Light's intellect; he was everything but stupid, but the reason behind his decisions, behind his choosing what is right and wrong didn't match with L's view. It was the complete opposite. Light didn't believe people could change, they were either good or bad, there was no gray area. L strongly disapproved of this. He believed in people, he believed in there goodness. Even Light…

L zoned back into reality. His mind had wandered too far away for him to keep being logical. Even though his work was bothersome it needed to be done. He needed money to keep his sugar addiction alive and other more practical reasons. He turned in his chair while he wiggled his toes over the sticky leather. He had finished all his paperwork, so basically he could turn around in his chair all day long. He contemplated this. The problem with this would be that after a certain amount of circles there would be a 63.7% chance of getting dizzy. L did not like feeling dizzy, it rather annoyed him and if he was annoyed there would be an 88.3% chance of him acting his annoyance out on his co-workers and there would be a 99.9% chance they would harbor unpleasant feelings about that. That would damage L's reputation even more and lessen the chances a promotion and thus a more interesting job. This leaded L to the conclusion that the chair on wheels was a rather dangerous object in terms of his career. He would never feel as comfortable in it as he had felt in it before. Once more, he wiggled his toes.

He decided it was best to start with the most irritating part of the day; helping his co-workers. He shifted slightly, causing the leather to squeak and coughed. In his ears it was the perfect cough. It was the cough that automatically told everyone to stop panicking, L would save them. He looked out of the corner of his eyes, he looked out of the other corner of his eyes. He kept glancing out of the corner of his eyes… but nothing happened. The cough had completely disappeared as if it was nothing. L was slightly puzzled. Could it be that they had not noticed the cough? Could they really be that dense? Could they actually deliberately ignore L's perfect cough? The cough of a savior. L deduced that indeed, there was a 69.5% chance, they had ignored his cough. If he coughed again and they would ignore it, he could raise it to 89.1%. He felt slightly thrilled as he was almost at the point of making that heavenly sound. He wriggled his toes and coughed. As the sound echoed throughout the office he waited full excitement, glancing left and right to see the expressions of the people surrounding him. He could almost sense the sound waves entering their inner ear. He saw a person looking at him. Immediately he twirled his chair and faced her, waiting for her to open her mouth, his pitch black eyes boring into her slightly stoned expression.

"Do you need some water?"

L was stunned. Once more the stupidity of the non-L's was stupefying. Of course he didn't need any water. How could she insinuate L needing such a basic need. L didn't need basic needs. It was as if she was saying his cough was just a cough, instead of a well rehearsed, dazzling, ear stroking sound. He felt like yelling at her, like shoving his toes up her nose. As if he demonstrated his point he wriggled them furiously. Then, he started shifting in his chair, creating such an intense squeaking even the simpleton should understand there was something upsetting him. He glared at her, as he moved forward in his chair, digging his toes deep into the resistant material. As he was about to say something he moved ever so slightly, trying to defy the rules of gravity, for L could do anything, and fell down face forward. L could not deny the pain. It seemed there was a 99.9% chance of L being human after all.

L woke up. Wait a minute. He woke up. Meaning he actually had not been awake before he woke up. He looked around to confirm the fact he had gone from one place to another while he had not been aware he had in fact done so. He was lying on the couch of the lunchroom and heard the coffee machine make that sound when it produces a cup of brown colored nonsense. The person who had caused this revolting product to be produced was the stoned looking girl from before. She had been so gutsy as to push the button. L had to admit, he was quite impressed. He hadn't succeeded in doing so yet. It was one of the more challenging things of his work. Most of the time when someone asked him to bring some coffee he would manipulate someone else in pushing the button and stare in amazement as they did so. He didn't dare.

The girl had noticed his conscious state and thought it was necessary to ask if he was ok. L simply stared at her. She stared back in her own special way and sipped her "coffee". L stared at the coffee, stared at her, stared at the button and said: 'No.'

The girl took another sip. 'Why not?'

'You misinterpreted my cough.'

The girl did not take another sip. 'Ah, well, what is it, I didn't understand correctly?'

'You didn't recognize the sound of your savior.'

The girl disposed the remaining coffee and looked L in the eyes.

'You are not my savior.'

'Yes I am.'

'No you're not.'

'Yes I am.'

The girl sighed.

'I don't even know your name.'

'That will not be necessary.'

'Well, from what are you going to save me?'

'You're lack of intellect.'

L woke up. Again. His head was throbbing slightly from where the girl had hit him. He had not suspected such a force from the girl. He had deduced there was a 44.6% chance that she had hit him because of not possessing the ability to verbally defend herself. There was a 55.4% chance that she had hit him because L had pissed her of. L sighed. His chair must be cursed; there could be no other explanation.

He was still lying on the couch in the lunchroom. He looked at the clock on the wall, it was 4 o'clock. L decided it would be best to go home early before his social skills caused another uncomfortable situation. The 'save your coworkers from there doomed path of failure' mission would have to be resumed tomorrow. Surely, they would recognize their savior if he succeeded in not falling of his chair.

L got off of the couch, left the lunchroom and headed towards the elevator. There he faced another problem. The button, it was staring at him, daring him to press it, daring him to set the elevator into motion and make the damn thing light up and go *ting*. He would not lose, he would not press the button, there had to be another way. Determined to win his little battle he stood there waiting, staring at the button. It would all work itself out. Minutes passed and L stood there, biting on his thumb when suddenly he heard footsteps approaching the elevator. The person placed himself next to L and seemed to wait with him. L found this quite amusing. There was a 13.6% chance the person standing next to him shared the same principles as L. However, there was an 86.4% chance the person had not noticed the button had not actually been pressed and the elevator had no reason of stopping at their floor.

'It's taking quite a while.'

L looked over to see who was the unfortunate person and widened his eyes ever so slightly. He had actually succeeded in dragging the CEO of the company into one of L's mind games. He wondered if he should tell or wait for Light to find out by himself. He wondered what would aggravate Light more. He didn't have time to pick one though as Light turned to face L.

'Have you pressed the button?'

'No.'

'Are you planning on pressing the button?'

'No.'

L watched as Light moved his hand towards the button. Just a couple of inches and he would be there. *ping*The doors of the elevator opened and someone stepped out. Light frowned as he saw L getting into the elevator. He felt mocked. He did not like feeling mocked, it put a dent in his pride.

L watched as Light was frowning at him. His power had outshined Light. He felt like gloating, but he wouldn't, he mustn't, he should not gloat. A simple smirk would do.

'Are you getting in?'

Light scoffed as he got into the elevator. Something about this man annoyed him. To call it a lack of respect was a bit dramatic, but the way this man presented himself did not please Light at all. All his employees should produce a positive image about his company, yet this man did not wear a nice suite, nor did he have a fresh and representative style. No, this man was walking around, hunched over, in a supposedly white t-shirt with baggy jeans while wiggling his toes every so often in the carpet, because this poor example of a human being had decided he was above wearing shoes. As if the only likeable thing of his company was the carpet. No, he did not like this man one bit.

Light pressed the button to the ground floor. He had been called by his father and had no choice but to continue his work later. Some matters could not be ignored. He turned around as he heard the strange man cough. It was an interesting cough, as if it was a cough with a meaning. He faced the man and saw his pitch black eyes boring into his eyes. Yes there was definitely a meaning to that cough. The man seemed to be testing him.

L watched Light's reaction with excitement. He knew Light knew that L knew Light would know there was a meaning to the cough. But L wondered if Light would recognize this as being the meaning or if he would be tricked into thinking there was a meaning besides the meaning.

Before any of them had a chance to take action the elevator *pinged* again and opened its magical doors to the world. Light rapidly got out of it, half nodded to L and left the building. L did exactly the same, only at a more leisurely pace, his toes feeling the cold marble of the entrance hall. He watched Light putting on a coat and laughed inwardly. Coats were such a useless devise, if you were cold you should simply go back inside.


End file.
